You Will Get A Brain Tumor. And Die.

That's right, you, the heinously annoying talk-on-the-cell-phone-while-at-the-drive-through-window-person, are going to get a brain tumor and die. Why? Because, for whatever reason, you are unable to detach the cell phone from your ear and have a legitimate conversation with the person at the window. Seriously, all I'm asking for is a casual, yet courteous, "hello - thank you - have a nice day!" I don't expect you to actually go out of your way to pursue 'real' face-to-face human interaction, but the least you could do is PRETEND you're not a robot and - oh, I don't know. . . smile?







Here's the deal. The drive-through was created so that, when people are too busy (or too lazy) to stop and go into the store, they may quickly drive through and get their fix. However, now people are so busy that they can't even take a second to go through the drive-through without being insincere. What are these cell-phone-crazies wanting? Delivery? Well, friends, this is a coffee shop. Not Little Caesars.



Okay, so maybe you were on the phone when you pulled up to the drive-through. I can respect that. You're a cool cat - you've got friends. You drink coffee. Word. Well, when you get up to the window, put the phone down. Tell whoever it is you're talking to that they can hold on a second, and actually talk to the person at the window. After all, I PROMISE you, the quality of your sincerity OFTEN dictates the quality of the product you will receive. If you're an ass, your coffee is going to taste like ass; If you're nice, your coffee is going to taste nice.






It's really not that difficult of a concept, people. Basically, don't pretend that your life is so busy that you MUST talk on the phone RIGHT THIS SECOND. Because, if it were, you wouldn't even have time to stop at a drive-through.